My Naked Dinner at Caliente Tampa!

Reprinted From Pasco Naturally 10-27-2008

By Bill Murphy, Special to Pasco Naturally

In my many years of traveling Florida in search of fun destinations, absolutely none of my hundreds upon hundreds of stops included any designated clothing optional -- until now. I was recently invited to dinner at Caliente Resort & Spa. You know I used to love putting Land O’ Lakes butter on my cinnamon toast when I was a kid! But I digress. Clothing optional? Just my luck if I ever got married again to a woman in this culture she would probably spend hours looking in the closet and proclaiming, "I have nothing not-to-wear!” But I digress again.

Bill Murphy Photo courtesy of Bill Murphy

Following a social get together at the newly opened Hello Beautiful clothing boutique, we drove the short couple of miles to Caliente.

There we were. And as I drove up to the front gate I couldn’t help but notice something. It all looked so normal. The security guy, fully clothed, was friendly and polite as he opened the gate and let me in.

The guys at the door at the Clubhouse, fully clothed, welcomed me. In fact, I didn't see a single guest who had to open the doors themselves. These guys were as good as the doormen at The Ritz. The Macaw perched nearby gave out a squawk or was it a whistle? Very tropical.

All of the employees in the lobby and behind the front desk, fully clothed, smiled and called out, "Welcome to Caliente. We're glad you're here."

But then, as I walked in, I saw something, I must admit, I really hadn’t expected.

This place is gorgeous! I mean I have stayed at just about every resort at Disney World and this place holds its own with any of them. From the clubs and restaurants, to the remarkable pool with its waterfall, Caliente is as upscale a resort as I’ve ever seen.

With one exception.

Some of the people here were not wearing clothes. Others were wearing just a little. And no one seemed to care. And you know what? After awhile neither did I.

By the way, I do want to thank the staff for caring for my swollen eye after I walked into a wall. Twice.

Before dinner we received a golf cart tour of the community. Condos, townhouses, RV park, small vacation casitas, all the way up to a large number of very impressive homes. Some are valued at over a million dollars. However, it was difficult to determine what kind of jobs the residents had just by looking at what they weren't wearing.

This is obviously much different than the nudist in the forest doing push-ups that many imagine these places are like.

On the way back to Club Caliente for dinner the sunset view was spectacular as was the very large clubhouse, restaurants, sports bar, Tiki hut, beach and fountain in the lake. You get the idea.

The dinner was fantastic. I had the linguine. The naked couple at the next table went with salads, I believe.

Lots of people paused to say hello to my host and me as they walked by our table at this very upscale restaurant. I made a lot of eye contact.

It all boils down to this. Like all the places I’ve traveled, this place, too, is not for everyone. But for those it is for, it is just great.

And me? Well for now, I’ll opt for the clothing on option. Somehow the thought of me doing anything else brings images of Peter Sellers at a nudist park in the film, "A Shot In The Dark.” Now where did I put that guitar?